Six lay and clergy members of the Michigan Conference share insights on ways to build a culture of kindness as Americans prepare to vote on November 5.

JAMES DEATON
Content Editor

Election Day is just three weeks away — November 5, 2024 — and eligible voters must register online or by postmarked mail by Monday, October 21, if they haven’t done so. Click to register.

Eligible voters (learn more) can also register to vote in person on Election Day but must do so at their local election office. Click to find your city or township clerk.

As people of Christian faith, it’s helpful to respect differences in opinion regarding political candidates and issues and treat one another with kindness and grace.

At the 2024 Michigan Annual Conference, lay and clergy members approved a resolution urging United Methodists “to use personal courtesy (PC) in political conversations and to vote for civility, compassion, and democracy.” Individuals are encouraged to download this resolution and find ways to live it out in their families, churches, and communities.

MIconnect sat down with six members of the Michigan Conference about how they engage the political realm as United Methodists and ways we might embody our faith heritage by speaking and behaving differently in this heated election season. How do we build a culture of kindness as we engage with friends, family, and neighbors? How do we shine a light into a world that sometimes feels very dark?

>>What aspects of our United Methodist faith heritage inspire and move you to stay engaged in the political realm?

Rev. Janine Plum, Chesaning: Trinity UMC: “It seems that we, as United Methodists, need to look no further than John Wesley when creating a culture of kindness in our churches. I think his wisdom speaks loudly in our politically charged atmosphere. Mr. Wesley wrote in his journal in 1774, ‘I met those of our society who had votes in the ensuing election, and advised them (1) to vote, without fee or reward, for the person they judged most worthy; (2) to speak no evil of the person they voted against; and (3) to take care their spirits were not sharpened against those that voted on the other side.’

“Thinking about our United Methodist faith heritage further, I am also reminded of Wesley’s three simple rules: Do no harm, do good, and attend to the ordinances of God. You simply can’t go wrong with these rules.”

Hoon-Yung Hopgood, Richmond: First UMC: “United Methodists have a rich and meaningful heritage in this regard. As a faith, we aren’t insulated or detached from society but are active participants called to witness. As a testament to this notion, the United Methodist Building, set but a stone’s throw from the U.S. Capitol, is a constant reminder of our calling.

“Our calling led us to play a role in the efforts to adopt the Emancipation Proclamation and end slavery over 150 years ago. Our heritage was involved in the women’s suffrage movement, which extended the right to vote over 100 years ago. Methodists were instrumental in ushering in civil rights reforms over 50 years ago. Somehow, our shared faith heritage has endured.”

Rev. B. Kevin Smalls, Southfield: Hope UMC: “Good Methodists always walk the tightrope of personal piety and social holiness. In a day where political conversations are so polarizing, it is hard not to be amped up around the issues. We must be careful to keep a sound mind and heart for justice and peace while watching news media, joining family functions, and attending community gatherings. Gaslighting will be at an all-time high, and as hard as it may be, we must resist such dynamics, or else the only thing often left to do is to be in deep conflict.

“Voting is a Christian responsibility in that, as United Methodists, we resist evil and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves, and one way we do that is through voting. God has always been involved in the political arena. The first liberation movement was launched by a God who heard the cry of the oppressed. God orchestrated elevating a people from slavery and guiding them to a land promised to them. It’s impossible to preach a gospel void of speaking to our political practices that conflict with our gospel mandates. The preacher must always know the difference between being prophetic and partisan. They’re not the same thing.”

Rev. Kristi Hintz, Marquette: Hope UMC: “As United Methodists, we are urged to do all the good we can in all the ways we can. Staying engaged in our community, in issues of concern, and in initiatives that would improve our communities is essential. It is our responsibility to be informed and to take part.”

Rev. Nicholas Bonsky, Livonia: St. Matthews UMC: “John Wesley’s devotion to both prison reform and public education are determining factors in my desire to stay engaged.

“Regarding prison ministry, how we treat those we ‘don’t like’ or ‘don’t value’ will say a lot about a nation and its people. If we are to be strong Methodists, this often involves taking stances viewed as unpopular. One such example is the care and treatment of those within our prison system. A strong Methodist people will also continue to advocate for a strong public education system so people of all means are able to ensure an education for future generations.

“Those without financial means and those in our prison systems are viewed as the ‘least’ in our society. That is where I believe Wesley — and Jesus — would stand. So, with them, I will stand.”

Rev. Linda Stephan, Traverse City: Central UMC: “Some issues that used to be nonpartisan and nonnegotiable for the church are polarizing today. Immediately, two come to mind: the welcome of immigrants and refugees fleeing violence and devastation, as well as so-called Christian nationalism. Our denomination’s Social Principles keep us grounded in our core beliefs and their interpretation for today. This can be a powerful check on political messages from within or beyond our party. They can allow us to speak with authority on issues we might otherwise shrink from.”

>>How can we create a culture of kindness in our churches and faith communities, respecting one another’s political opinions and following the golden rule, as Jesus taught?

Rev. Janine Plum, Chesaning: Trinity UMC: “As someone who has family members that disagree, quite vociferously, about this year’s election, we decided some time ago to stick to a policy of ‘agree to disagree,’ and more than that, to honor the other by not foisting our views on one another.

“I have witnessed the following regarding good civil dialogue that led to peace: (1) have a heart at peace; (2) listen to understand; (3) ask clarifying questions; (4) don’t judge; and (5) be discerning. There may be times when your truth is more readily received than other times.

“I plan to do a sermon series at my church on the kingdom of God through October. If we understand what God’s kingdom, the kingdom Jesus brought and is bringing, is all about, we have a much better chance of seeing things from God’s perspective and not falling victim to fear or force. It’s so very important that our members know that God’s kingdom is not of this world.

“I will also try to show that while Jesus was political, he was not partisan, and that Jesus is Lord and Caesar is not.”

Hoon-Yung Hopgood, Richmond: First UMC: “Am I my brother’s, sister’s, sibling’s keeper? Establishing ground rules at the beginning can be very helpful — with ourselves, too! Active listening and not just waiting for your turn to make your point is crucial. Can we take each other’s perspective? There must be something redeeming in their viewpoints and beliefs; there is in yours. How can we turn down the noise in our heads and hearts? Maybe you know the tough situations beforehand; maybe you don’t. As a Christian, I think it is always good to seek help from above.

“We all have those times when we engage in such discussions that can easily spin out of control into heated arguments that we ‘need to win’ instead of promoting some mutually beneficial shared understanding.

“It is always good to enter these conversations with some degree of intentionality. Also, figuring out how to lower the temperature and agreeing to take a beat can help. We all want to be heard when conversing with others, so we have to listen, too! Otherwise, it might be easy to talk past each other, worry only about your next point, and get lost in the moment.

“It is certainly okay to speak passionately, and we can and should expect others to do as well.

“Usually, it takes some time, patience, and effort to engage in a positive conversation on challenging topics, especially in the charged-up atmosphere of heated political times. The good thing is that it is totally worth it because the outcomes are so much better!”

Rev. B. Kevin Smalls, Southfield: Hope UMC: “I think it starts with a personal commitment to build community designed by God’s Spirit. Somehow, God makes room for all of God’s creation, while humanity often compartmentalizes and separates creation based on systems of race, gender, and wealth. We must work within ourselves to address our biases and commit to moving beyond those to build community. When we do this individually, we become a stronger community inspired by God’s love.

“As the country prepares for a presidential election that will potentially continue to divide and polarize communities, the church must be countercultural and live into models of love, welcome, and diversity.

“Also, as a recent experience taught me, there are plenty of wounds to go around, but we are called to engage the ministry of reconciliation even when we are bruised by past encounters and experiences. It’s hard to demonize someone you have a meal with and see that their humanity is not too far from your own.”

Rev. Kristi Hintz, Marquette: Hope UMC: “As people of faith, it is important to protect and respect the integrity of others. Do we trust others to cultivate their own opinions? In some cases, based on life experience, introspection, and values, people we know well in our families, neighborhoods, or communities of faith may develop beliefs and opinions that differ from ours. It isn’t our job to convince everyone to believe what we believe. It’s our job to cultivate communities that build love, respect, and understanding.

“Practical suggestions for building such communities would include creating opportunities to work together on common goals, such as addressing community needs, sharing meals, or lifting others up.

“I hear members of my congregation affirm the rights of others to hold their own beliefs and affirm that our differences can be where we find our strength. As a four-site multi-site, our congregation has learned to focus on what holds us together. We are used to differences in how things have been done or in priorities and values. We’re used to a culture that holds an awareness of what we lack while celebrating what holds us together. Many concerns are fear-based. It is good to name the ‘elephant in the room’ or verbally frame previously unspoken fears. These fears lose their power when they can be spoken and addressed constructively. When people feel pulled into a conflict, I think it’s good to pause and ask, ‘How important is this, really?’ Although conflict is normal and expected in a growing and creative system, it can also be hurtful and grab the focus away from what matters.”

Rev. Nicholas Bonsky, Livonia: St. Matthews UMC: “Our culture of kindness should begin and end with an understanding that berating, finger-pointing, and name-calling will never change hearts and minds. Too often, especially in the cases of religion and politics, people find that telling others why they are wrong is the path to transformation. That is hardly ever the case. If you believe strongly in something, live it. Our faith in Christ should be evident through our actions, and our words should be used with a reflection on whether they uplift or tear down. Jesus Christ was known to challenge authority, but it was mainly through his actions and was never designed to be partisan. Be political but not partisan. Reflect on how your words and actions can bring people closer to Jesus.

“At my previous appointment, I started a Pub Theology group and witnessed good civil dialogue around difficult topics. This was during the 2016 election and into the 2020 election. To say the event always had the chance to become heated would be an understatement. Yet, that never occurred. Dialogue was always respectful, and while voices sometimes got louder, they never became hurtful. This didn’t happen by chance. Before any conversation, I would reinforce that we are to actively listen, digest, and then speak. We often habitually think of a rebuttal while an individual is still speaking. What would it look like if we simply listened to what they had to say without any active agenda other than learning and growing? It is amazing what can be accomplished. Not every individual believes in this form of communication, so if a situation becomes heated, take a step back and reflect on why they might be angry. Is your retort capable of healing and reconciliation, or will it lead to further anger? In other words, ‘I believe’ statements will always be more effective than ‘You are wrong.’”

Rev. Linda Stephan, Traverse City: Central UMC: “Our churches would be full if we knew how to do this well! At least on paper, we all want churches that embrace others and love through difference. The trouble is that work is fundamentally uncomfortable. We also want church to be fun, breezy, comfortable, and easy.

“Here are some thoughts on building a culture of kindness:

• • Be willing to be in the minority.
  • Take a posture of listening and curiosity when you are among those with a different view.
  • Don’t let your conflicts define your relationships.
  • Don’t let someone else in the room be hurt. Be loving, honest, and careful — especially when ‘issues’ are more personal and vulnerable for some in the room than others.
  • Be willing to disagree with your pastor! Celebrate when pastors can express their views openly and with love. Allow their ideas to challenge yours — to change or reinforce your position. There is no need to be offended.
  • In a conversation where everyone agrees, assume someone is keeping quiet and feeling sidelined.
  • After a disagreement, make sure the other person knows you are still in relationship. Eye contact, a genuine smile, and an easier subject can go a long way.

“I recently had a conversation with two groups considering working together. There were some nonnegotiable core values. I had to speak honestly. However, we also acknowledge not everyone agrees, nor do we expect everyone who joins to agree on every point. This clear, forward statement offered an invitation and welcome to those in the minority view without sacrificing core values. This also let people know they don’t have to pretend to agree, nor do we want them to walk away. There is a third way — walking together through difference. I think that, often, in this scenario, leaders ignore these concerns in the early stages. That’s where conflict avoidance is both unkind and unhelpful. Leadership means speaking into conflict in a loving way and in times when others might be too afraid to do so.”

Last Updated on October 22, 2024