Cheryl Bistayi speaks to those navigating the fog of grief and confusion following the suicide of a beloved.
CHERYL BISTAYI
Allendale: Valley UMC
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. I do not necessarily keep track of the different months and days that hold these meanings, but I often try to respond somehow when I see them. At this stage in life, most causes touch my life, not because they are causes but because they represent people.
People with whom I lived.
And loved.
People like my father.
All grief is hard work. But when someone takes their own life, the grieving can be that much more confusing. Finding peace in someone you love choosing to leave you is a journey.
And then, when the journey reveals things about the one you loved that you did not know, the confusion can cloud that journey, like driving in a fog. But, when you’re driving in a fog, you pull over a minute, get your bearings, and when you see light, you get back on the road and stay steady and follow that light till you find your way home.
To peace.
If someone has chosen to leave you and you are in that fog, I am so very sorry.
It hurts. A lot.
So, this message is for you. Most posts on National Suicide Prevention Month are directed at anyone contemplating choosing to leave, as well they should.
Absolutely.
But I felt nudged to speak to those who have had someone (choose to) leave them — those who might be traveling through that fog of grief right now.
Pull over for a minute. Stay steady. Look for light and then follow that light.
If you don’t know how or where to start, please visit the resources at Alliance of Hope or email me at [email protected]. You are not alone.
You can find your way back home.
You can find your way back to peace.
One final thought: I would be remiss if I did not say that I felt God in the mist, no matter how thick the fog. When you stand still in a fog, seeking light, you can see and feel a fine mist. It covers you—every inch of you—thoroughly and gently.
God. In. The. Mist.
Last Updated on September 25, 2023