In this season of the church, Rev. LuAnn Rourke, superintendent of the Heritage District, explains the importance of listening and being open rather than having all the answers.
LUANN ROURKE
Superintendent, Heritage District
If you are familiar with the television series Grey’s Anatomy, you know that the showrunners do not shy away from reflecting current cultural events in their episodic storytelling. In season 17, the characters dealt with the realities of a global pandemic. Rewatching this season recently, I was surprised by the impact of the memories that arose — confusion, desperation, loneliness, horror, frustration, and absolute absurdity of those who refused to believe what was happening right before them. I felt all those things all over again.
Pandemic reality surprised us all. In the church, we started with denial and anger that we could not gather for worship. Then, we figured out ways to stay connected through radio broadcasts or digital media, even though we often did not like it. What relief we felt when we could open our doors again, even with restrictions about where people could sit or how many could be in the sanctuary. How eager we were to get back to normal! Only slowly are we realizing that what was considered “normal” is no more, and perhaps it hasn’t been for a long time.
We were interrupted by COVID-19, and society has changed in its wake. People have adopted new behavior patterns and established new priorities. They have made decisions about how to spend their time and where to invest their energy and resources. They appreciate the convenience of checking in with their church online at a time that better fits their schedule than Sunday morning. And many have disengaged from paying attention to what the church is doing.
As I work with churches these days, I hear a common refrain: “We just can’t get our families to come back to church.” I get it. It doesn’t feel normal with empty Sunday school classrooms and no one coming up to listen to the pastor do the sermon on the steps. I wonder if we can ask ourselves why we really want children, youth, and families in the church. Are we willing to do whatever it takes to engage them with spiritual care and support? Are we equipped to surround them with a faith community of unconditional love — to be a place where it is safe to acknowledge anxiety and live as their authentic selves?
In our rush to recover the “good old days” and return to “normal,” we have left behind generations of people who do not trust that church is a safe place to be. If we genuinely want to reconnect with families and young people, we must do the hard work of finding ways to invest in relationship building without expectation. This is our season for planting seeds that will produce fruit we will never eat, for planting trees even though we will never enjoy sitting in their shade. In other words, we must be willing to invest without expectation of reward. We must focus forward without fear.
Yes, there are challenges. Yet beyond those, I see exciting opportunities to work creatively with neighboring congregations to develop collaborative relationships with our community and try new things. It begins with asking good questions and listening to the answers. In his book Becoming Church: A Trail Guide for Starting Fresh Expressions, Luke S. Edwards, Associate Director of Church Development in the Western North Carolina Conference, notes that in the early church, the Rite of Ephphatha (this word is Aramaic for “be opened”) was part of a ceremony that took place on the day before converts were baptized. Having our ears opened, as Jesus did for a deaf man in Mark 7:32-35, would not be a bad thing! In our efforts to make people aware of our existence and attract people to ourselves, I wonder if we have neglected the art of listening.
Edwards reminds us that the early church understood the importance of listening and being open instead of expecting to have all the answers. Perhaps it’s time to focus again on listening and learning. Start with conversation in your fellowship groups. Then, boldly begin to interact with people you don’t know. Listen to them! Who are the people in your neighborhood? What are they curious about? How do they prioritize their time and energy? Where do they need support? What can your church begin to do in the next 30 days in response to what you learn?
When a natural disaster occurs, we mobilize our resources for immediate aid. When a global pandemic happened, we needed to develop new habits and practices. When we see the de-churching of our families and our society unfolding right before our eyes, what are we willing to try that might begin to turn the tide?
When presented with a man who could not hear, “Jesus took him away from the crowd by himself and put his fingers in the man’s ears. Then he spit and touched the man’s tongue. Looking into heaven, Jesus sighed deeply and said, ‘Ephphatha,’ which means, ‘Open up.’ At once, his ears opened, his twisted tongue was released, and he began to speak clearly” (Mark 7:33-35, CEB).
May we begin to listen deeply and well and, in return, be made able to speak clearly as we work to build beloved community and share God’s love.
Last Updated on July 31, 2024