For Mother’s Day, Cheryl Bistayi invites us to broaden and deepen our focus by celebrating sacred moments of mothering for the whole human family.
CHERYL BISTAYI
Allendale: Valley UMC
When asked to write something for Mother’s Day, I was in the United Kingdom, and it happened to be their Mother’s Day. Nothing shatteringly significant about that, but it is an interesting tidbit. It was fun to celebrate being a mum with my UK sister, again experiencing how similar we all are!
I had the opportunity to see that similarity as a grandmother when working at the international border in Texas.
The word “rituals” came to mind. I’m not talking about big fancy ceremonies, but those little things we do daily that soothe and keep us balanced — those sacred little moments.
Roll over in bed after the alarm goes off, brush our teeth, take a shower, have our cuppa coffee, work out, read the news, have a bedtime snack, pray. There are a million and one ways we lean into our day with these little rituals.
When one little ritual gets moved or taken away, we get thrown off a titch.
That kept coming to me when we were interacting with the migrant families.
Knowing how many little granny rituals I cherish with my grands, including sharing little bedtime treats, I remember the abuela who brought her nietos with her and gave them each an apple before bedtime. I had to ask her to take the children out of the room where they sat on their cots because no food was allowed in the rooms. They had to stand in the hall. It was for a good reason, to keep mice, ants, and other critters away, and she was more than gracious, as were the kids, but it pained me to say it. This little ritual of evening snack time with her grands was not allowed.
All I could say was, “Soy abuela. I’m a grandmother. Lo siento. I’m sorry.”
Eye contact told me she understood, but as an abuela, my heart ached for her. I pray she and her nietos are somewhere safe today.
This brings my thoughts back home to the roots of Mother’s Day in the United States.
In 1868, Ann Reeves Jarvis organized a “Mothers’ Friendship Day” to have mothers gather after the Civil War to promote reconciliation between Union veterans and Confederate veterans and their families.
In 1872, Julia Ward Howe encouraged a day of peace to honor and support mothers who lost loved ones during the Civil War. In her “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” she offered these words to women: “Let them then solemnly take council with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace.”
In 1914, Mother’s Day became official in the United States. It was Ann Reeves Jarvis’ daughter, Anna, who lobbied for a day to honor “mothering.” However, she became disillusioned as the holiday became more commercialized.
The meaning of the day has clearly moved away from its roots.
Even though commercialism continues to impact our day, both here and in the United Kingdom, I find great inspiration in these women and the seeds they planted.
I love broadening and deepening the focus from “mother” to “mothering.” It speaks to nurturing reconciliation and peace, not just within my family but within our human family.
In that, I find profound purpose. So, this Mother’s Day, I hope to honor the day by mothering.
It could be donating a titch of time, talents, and resources to something that lifts the human spirit. It could be modeling what reconciliation looks like in my own family. Perhaps it is actively advocating for peace.
Maybe it’s taking a moment to think about my own rituals and how they soothe. We all have them. Then, it’s perhaps breathing a prayer of gratitude for those rituals and adding a new one — lifting those whose rituals have been taken away or profoundly impacted and whose balance has been completely flipped.
In other words, I will celebrate Mother’s Day in MY family with a sacred moment of mothering for the HUMAN family.
Because, for me, reconciliation, peace, and purpose beat roses, cards, and candy any day.
Happy Mothering!
Last Updated on May 9, 2024