Fall is truly my favorite time of the year.  Each year, I can’t wait for it to arrive!  I love the colors. I love the cool, crisp days and the chilly nights.  I love the rustle of leaves under my feet and the excitement of football games and homecoming parades.  I love seeing the signs of harvest going on all around me.

I love fall … except … during election years. 

I am proud of the way we democratically shift power every two years.  It’s a system that has served us well these past 200+ years.  But the past several election cycles have made it clear we need to consider carefully how we engage one another in these important conversations.

As dialogue has become more negative and rhetoric more intense,

as our culture has become more accepting of name-calling and stereotyping,

as all political parties try to convince us that no one from the opposing party could possibly have anything worthwhile to say,

it is time for us, as people of faith, to find – and live – another way.

In the New Testament book of 2 Timothy we read:

“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness.” (2:24-25a)

Perhaps you remember this saying from childhood:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

That may have sounded fine as a child, but my response to it now?  It is simply not true.  In fact, I believe the damage done by hateful and disrespectful words is even deeper than the wounds inflicted by “sticks and stones”.  Words can build our brothers and sisters up, or they can cause harm to their souls.  Those scars may not show outwardly, but the pain is deep, and healing much more difficult.

In Bishop Job’s book, “Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living”, we read this statement:

“I have found that this first simple step (‘do no harm’), when practiced, can provide a safe place to stand while the hard and faithful work of discernment is done.  When we agree that we will not harm those with whom we disagree, conversation, dialogue and discovery of new insight become possible.”  (page 21)

Wise words from a wise teacher and friend.

Since coming to Michigan, I have shared the following words in each of our Annual Conference sessions.  I know these words are not new to many of you, however, in this day and time we need to read them again and again until we believe them.  They come from The 2008 Global Young People’s Convocation and Legislative Assembly of the United Methodist Church, and they offer guidelines for how we, as Christians, can be in healthy conversations with those with whom we disagree.  And they offer a new, yet old, way of interacting with one another in these sometimes “quarrelsome” days.

Listen to the voices of our young people.

• Every person is a child of God. Always speak respectfully. One can disagree without being disagreeable.

• As you patiently listen and observe the behavior of others, be open to the possibility that God can change the views of any or all parties in the discussion.

• Listen patiently before formulating responses.

• Strive to understand the experience out of which others have arrived at their views.

• Be careful in how you express personal offense at differing opinions. Otherwise dialogue may be inhibited.

• Accurately reflect the views of others when speaking. This is especially important when you disagree with that position.

• Avoid using inflammatory words, derogatory names, or an excited and angry voice.

• Avoid making generalizations about individuals and groups. Make your point with specific evidence and examples.

• Remember that people are defined, ultimately, by their relationship with God–not by the flaws we discover, or think we discover, in their views and actions. 

They go on to say:

“We believe Christians can discuss important issues without the acrimonious debate and parliamentary maneuvering that can divide a group into contending factions.  We see too many examples of that in secular society.  We believe the Holy Spirit leads in all things, especially as we make decisions.  We want to avoid making decisions in a fashion that leaves some feeling like winners and others like losers.”

Wise words from our wise youth and young adults.

Can you imagine how different our political conversations would be;

Can you imagine how different our General Conference conversations would be;

Can you imagine how different our debates on difficult issues would be

If we followed those wise guidelines?

Dear friends, it is my hope that, as Christians – and as United Methodists – we can offer another way:

• A way that reminds us of one of the most basic tenets of our faith:
  • treating others as we would want to be treated;
• A way that believes that:
  • everyone is a child of God and worthy of respect and dignity;
• A way that reminds us that:
  • we are all part of the Body of Christ – “if one suffers, we all suffer together; if one rejoices we all rejoice.”

May we live out our faith in all we say and do and are.

With you in the Work of Christ,

Bishop Deb

Last Updated on October 20, 2023