Now, more than ever, life requires that we make significant decisions. Daily. Our choices are often complicated and come with consequences. How can we cope?
GLENN WAGNER
Michigan Conference Communications
Decisions. Making decisions is an important part of life. Making decisions in a season of pandemic, economic, social, and political unrest can have life-altering consequences.
How should we make decisions? Should we flip a coin? Go with our gut? Trust the authorities? Rely on our experience? Fall in with the crowd? Offer a prayer and wait for a divine sign?
Some decisions turn out better than others. Sometimes we make a lucky guess. Second-guessing choices has become a national past-time. When decisions are tough you can always count on some who will be critical of your choices.
I still remember the good advice of church consultant Lyle Schaller who shared that when decisions are really difficult and potentially controversial at church, it helps to have the backing of church leadership to stand with you in the decisions. In his book, “The Situational Leader,” author Paul Hersey advocates for decision making that will vary with circumstance. In a life or death emergency, good leadership may depend on quick and decisive dictatorial action. In other cases, decisions that need long term democratic support to succeed, require consensus building and team cooperation. Because decision making can have life-shaping consequence, it can be helpful to work at the art of making better decisions.
In these real-life scenarios, what would you choose?
You are a senior citizen living on a pension. Do you vote for a candidate who promises to keep the stock market bullish with a commitment to lowering taxes and cutting regulation? Or do you vote for a candidate more focused on social programs that might prove beneficial for your grandchildren but possibly depressing your pension balance?
You are a high school senior. Because of the pandemic, you missed out on your senior prom, graduation, and celebratory open house. You have to choose “what’s next?” Do you accept admission to an expensive college that might not be open in the fall for residential students? Or do you take a job to begin a career in an essential business that is offering you a paycheck now?
You are a minimum wage worker without an economic safety net. You have been furloughed without compensation during the recent pandemic. The company you worked for may not survive the economic hit. Your bills are due. Do you pay your rent? Add more to the credit card? Seek work elsewhere? Borrow from your neighbor? Buy a lottery ticket?
You are a pastor. Your church has been closed during the recent pandemic Offerings have slowed. Many in your aging congregation are not tech-savvy. You are exhausted from trying to hold your faith family together. When considering which bills to pay, how do you prioritize? How do you offer effective pastoral care to real needs from a safe social distance? How do you decide about reopening for worship?
No matter who we are, life requires that we make significant decisions. Daily. Our choices are often complicated and come with consequences. We are not always consistent in our choices. Our choices can put us at odds with people we know and love. A decision that works today may not work in the changing conditions of tomorrow. A decision that works for you may harm someone else. Here are five helps for making decisions.
- Use values clarification to determine your top priority.
A professor handed each member of our class an identical deck of 100 pre-printed index cards. Each card contained one distinct value, such as generosity, profit, happiness, winning, love, employment, security, health, family, science. In truth, all 100 values listed were worthy of attention. We were asked to select 50 cards (values) of the highest importance to us. The exercise became more difficult when we were asked to further cull our list to a stack of 25 cards. Then we had to sort and select our top ten values. We followed by choosing our top five, then top three, and finally had to settle on just one personal core value.
The purpose of the exercise was to help us prioritize and become more intentional in our decision making. When you know your highest priority value, it is easier to have the wisdom to say no to the less important and to stay true to your convictions. It should not surprise anyone that each member of our class selected a different value as his or her most important even though we all shared a common vocation in Christian ministry. (This set of values cards is similar to those used in that exercise.)
I still remember choosing as my top value the word “grace.” That choice has helped me further to define my personal core value for my ministry, “In God’s math, everybody counts.” When your most important value is kept in focus, it is easier to make and live with the results of life’s difficult decisions.
- Seek help from experts.
In the fall of 2006, we had two children in college and were struggling to maintain a balanced budget. We didn’t know if we should dip into our pension, empty our savings, take out a loan, get a second job, cash in our life insurance policy, or seek help from extended family. My wife suggested that before acting, we contact a trusted financial advisor. He listened to our issues, knew what questions to ask, shared ideas and new information, and helped us to lay out a course of action we had never even considered. This consultation alleviated our anxieties and helped us to meet our obligations with the least disruption to our financial well-being.
When in doubt about a decision, seeking a second opinion from an expert can be worth the effort it takes to ask.
- Consider, “Where am I headed?”
It was a snowy February evening in 1993. I had just attended a connectional church meeting at a rural United Methodist Church situated alone on a country crossroads 18 miles northeast of where I had been serving as a new pastor for eight months. As this was my first trip to that country parish, I followed written directions to get there that had been given to me by a colleague. The directions were simple to follow in the daylight.
By the time our meeting had ended, the sun had set, and it was snowing. The only visible light came from the church building. Beyond the parking lot was pitch dark, and, with the swirling snow falling, visibility was poor. I did not yet own a cell phone. I had not been introduced to cellular GPS navigational systems. I was less confident in my ability to find my way home in those conditions from an unfamiliar rural location. I made a split-second decision to follow Ed, a retired pastor who was a long time area resident. I operated on the assumption that surely Pastor Ed knew where he was going, and we both needed to drive home in roughly the same direction. I was wrong.
After 30 minutes of following the tail lights of his car into the night, Ed pulled his vehicle to the side of the road. I stopped my car too and trudged through the drifting snow up to his. I could see we were on a dead-end gravel road and next to a vast snow-covered farmer’s field. There were no visible lights anywhere but the headlights of our two vehicles. Ed rolled down his window. I confessed, “Ed, I’ve been following you because I trusted that you knew the way. Do you have any idea where we are?” Ed was clueless. We were both definitely lost.
Just then, I realized I had a compass mounted on my car dashboard that I had never used. I knew we were somewhere to the east of Lake Michigan, and our ultimate destination was along the Lake Michigan shoreline where both of us were more familiar with our surroundings. I told Ed I would take the lead. We would trust the compass for direction in the dark. We would drive west until we arrived at Lake Michigan and could then follow more familiar roads home. My plan worked.
When faced with a decision and clueless like a pair of lost pastors, it can help to follow the trustworthy guidance of known instruments and head in a general desired direction. For United Methodists, helpful tools of guidance when we need help with decisions are included in John Wesley’s quadrilateral, using scripture, tradition, reason, and experience as a guide. Guidance can also be discerned by applying Wesley’s three simple rules: do no harm, do good, and stay in love with God.
- Think through the systemic consequences of your choice.
Scientists have proven the notion that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Social scientists have chronicled that our choices often have unintended consequences that can easily interfere with our desired ends. Makers of impulsive decisions are like ocean liner passengers who dive into the ocean to begin swimming and pushing against the bow of the ship to turn it away from a collision. A systemic thinker is one who knows that the best decision is to turn away from the iceberg, resisting the temptation to dive into a futile swimming solution. Instead, they call the ship’s captain to turn the wheel that affects the rudder, and who can also call the engine room to put the engines in reverse. Impulse decisions are rarely as effective as a well-thought-out plan.
In one of the communities where I served, it became obvious that too many residents did not have enough food to eat. The initial and necessary response to the hunger crisis was to organize an emergency food pantry and a free soup kitchen, and then to broaden the base of community support for a feeding program. It took longer to realize that just treating the symptoms did nothing to identify or alleviate a significant contributing factor to chronic hunger in the community. Housing policies that favored a proliferation of absentee-owned rental property continually drained financial assets out of the area. The absentee landlords allowed their properties to deteriorate, and businesses such as the local hardware store closed, which started a flight of other local businesses, a loss of local jobs and tax revenues, and an unraveling of important social organizations. Persons who viewed the problem of hunger in the community systemically realized that feeding hungry people was not enough. Also to be addressed were issues of reducing the percentage of absentee-owned rental property, improving local schools, and supporting local businesses. These were as important as emergency food in maintaining and restoring community health.
A weighty decision that many pastors and congregations will be making with significant systemic consequence will be how and when to reopen churches for worship. There may not be a simple “one-size-fits-all” solution. I trust the experts who warn us that non-symptomatic persons can also spread this virus, that persons over 60 and/or with prior medical conditions are most vulnerable, and that being in enclosed spaces near recirculated air and engaged in activities like singing can spread the disease. I applaud those churches that are finding ways to improve their delivery of virtual worship, conduct surveys with congregants to seek their feelings and their help in decision making, and are actively planning with leadership for how and when to return to in-person worship safely. Some churches are offering in-person drive-in services this summer broadcast to parishioners in the church parking lot over FM radio. Others are finding safer ways for socially distanced smaller groups wearing masks to gather for worship. I have read new local church policies and procedures proposed for worship that eliminates greeting, practices masking, alters seating, and changes how coffee will be served and offerings received.
I know that:
- I am paying close attention to regular online reporting about infection rates in our area
- I value my health and that of my loved ones
- I prefer in-person worship with music and social connection when it is safe to do so
- I would never want to be responsible for infecting someone else with a potentially fatal disease
- As a more vulnerable person over 60, I will not feel truly safe about returning to worship inside a church building until there is a reliable vaccine for this virus. Then I would want to know that the church I attend has a smart sanitation protocol in place. Until these conditions are in place, I will be continuing to worship virtually from home.
Think through the systemic consequences of this weighty decision. What if you reopen and people get sick? Or what happens if you don’t reopen and your congregation collapses from lack of engagement? How can you keep people safe and still engage in the church’s vital mission?
- Learn from the wisdom of the Bible.
The Bible is a treasured record of many significant decisions that can also inform our own decision making.
In his parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus highlights the choices made on the Jerusalem to Jericho road by travelers presented with an opportunity to help a victim of roadside violence. The travelers had to choose between remaining uninvolved or assuming the expense and inconvenience of rendering life-saving assistance to a stranger. The parable teaches us that God values compassion over indifference and surprises Jesus’ listeners with the insight that even a spiritually marginalized Samaritan can be deemed “good” in God’s eyes.
A significant decision was made in the early days of Christianity at the Jerusalem Conference. That important gathering of Christian leaders decided to welcome uncircumcised Gentiles into their fellowship (Acts 15 and Galatians 2). This controversial decision led early Christians to break from Judaism and further influenced the global reach of Christian witness. The biblical record of the Jerusalem Conference reminds us that the church from its beginning has prioritized inclusion over exclusion.
In another significant moment of decision making, Joshua gathered with the people of Israel for an important meeting at Shechem. The 40 years of post-Egypt wilderness wanderings were behind them. Under Joshua’s leadership, the Israelites had conquered “the promised land.” This large extended family was preparing to begin a new chapter of settled life in tribal groups spread across the region. Joshua recounted their history and urged the people of God to make a values clarifying faith decision of great importance for their future. In Joshua 23:14-15, he says, “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” This memory of Joshua’s decision to make faith in God his top priority reminds us even today that when in doubt about a decision, loving God is still the best option.
Prayer: God, help us to make wise choices today that are in keeping with your highest hopes for our lives. Help us clarify our values to remember what is most important. Lead us to learn from the experience of trusted experts and to keep in mind our desired destination. Teach us to consider the potential consequences of our decisions before acting. Inform our decisions with proven spiritual wisdom from the Bible. God, help us to make good decisions in these uncertain times. Thank you for the big decision you made in Jesus that we that we are all worthy of your sacrificial love for us. Amen.
Last Updated on June 10, 2020