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Be lights of love

Two men talking

The Rev. Dr. Darryl Totty calls us to destigmatize mental illness by maintaining a humble spirit and loving and building others up with support and resources.

DARRYL TOTTY
Superintendent, Greater Detroit District

“There but for the grace of God, go I” is an idiom used to acknowledge humility and gratitude by recognizing the need for God’s grace in our lives. The statement is often attributed to John Bradford, who murmured these words as he witnessed the execution of British citizens for alleged crimes, many of whom suffered from incompetence or mental illness.

Things have changed. Torture, isolation, and executions no longer occur in the public square, although some might argue there is no difference today. However, the symptoms of an ill society remain the same. We bury our heads in the sand while from Detroit to Marquette, Wyandotte to Grand Rapids, lives are impacted by the societal challenges of mental illness. We hear about painful and deadly accounts of police officers shooting a mentally ill man 30 times, a North Carolina grandfather with bipolar disorder plowing into a restaurant and killing his family members, and a military veteran suffering the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and taking her own life.

I know five people living with a mental illness. Two of them live in stable communities with job opportunities and attend church regularly. The other three are not so fortunate—one is homeless, and two are in jail—as we’ve failed persons with mental illness by not including them in our lives. Mental illness is challenging to overcome, and it’s difficult to care for them, as many who suffer from it resist treatment and do not seek help. I get it. Unfortunately, people in our society are judgmental and uninformed. They lack knowledge about the challenges confronting families with loved ones with mental illness who live hopelessly under stigmas and labels.

In response to criticism about caring for a loved one, I once heard someone say, “Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes,” meaning, if you’re not here to help me, please keep your comments to yourself. Perhaps this is why Jesus calls and commands us to love others as ourselves and to build people up with support and resources. We do so by providing comfort to those who suffer from mental and emotional illness. I am not a mental health expert, but I believe God calls us to be kindhearted lights of love to those with mental illness and their families. God is ever-present, as we stand on the scripture in Psalm 46:1-2a, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear” (NRSVUE).

There is hope. I am thankful for high-profile sports figures like Simone Biles, Naomi Osaka, Michael Phelps, and others who are very public about their struggles with mental illness. Being publicly open and honest about the need to address bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia in conversations supported with funding is a game changer. Furthermore, it incentivizes others with less courage to ask for professional help.

Dealing with mental illness is not about toughing it out; it’s about prayerfully seeking professional help. When we seek help, scripture states in Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them” (NRSVUE). I am reminded of a United Methodist woman named Hattie Wallace at the now-closed Jefferson Avenue UMC in Detroit. Hattie was a retired Certified Psychiatric Nurse at the former Eloise Psychiatric Hospital in Westland, Mich., who worked with individuals, families, and groups. She would say to me, “Reverend, I pray a lot on my job. Prayer changes things, so let us pray first to calm things down.” Prayer, then, is a vehicle whereby we can invite God’s Spirit to be with us when dealing with mental illness.

Additionally, individuals and families can get immediate help 24 hours a day, seven days a week, when in a crisis by calling 911 or going to the nearest emergency room. In case of suicide, anyone can call or text 988 for confidential support in a suicidal crisis or emotional distress. For veterans, a crisis line is available by calling 800-273-8255 or texting 8382.

If you are reading this blog, I encourage you to maintain a humble spirit in dealing with persons experiencing mental health challenges. Through prayer, I ask God to enable us to be kind and caring to persons with mental illness. I also ask God’s blessings upon professionals such as doctors, therapists, social workers, and caregivers who care for those vulnerable to mental illness. Remember, “there but for the grace of God, go we.” Please, be a blessing to others.

Last Updated on November 22, 2022

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The Michigan Conference