While the transition from serving in the local church to serving as the Director of Conference Benefits and Coordinator of Human Resources occurred two years ago (August 1st!), there was no physical move at that time because my wife remained in her current position when mine changed. However, she recently took a new appointment, so we moved. I hadn’t moved in eight years, and the last time we moved, we didn’t have a child. Let’s just say this move has taken a greater toll than our previous moves. So, if you’re a clergy person who has recently had to relocate, this month’s article is for you.
First, I want to say that I am grateful that, even though I wasn’t technically moving appointments like my wife, the Bishop allowed me to take some time for transition while we physically moved. This is something granted to transitioning clergy, and most likely your District Superintendent explained this to you, allowing you to take some time as well.
Here’s the thing. The time given to move was appreciated and greatly needed. But the second thing I want to say is: It’s now August, and we’re still settling in. No doubt you are too. Give yourself grace. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached into the wrong drawer as I learn the new placement of things in our new home or how often I’ve dropped the ball on something at work or in my personal life over the past month because moving is mentally and physically draining. If you, like me, have made mistakes in the last month, if you’re feeling a little out of sorts – you’re okay. Give yourself some grace.
Third, I am deeply aware of the community of support around me—friends and colleagues who have helped us immensely as we moved. I hope you have that too. Over the past year, while working on a project about clergy burnout, I repeatedly heard that clergy in Michigan feel lonely. I understand that. I hope you have some friends or colleagues you can reach out to.
Finally, if you don’t have a support network, remember that two resources are available to you: first, myself. I am MI Benefits Guy, after all. I’m here for you if you need to vent or process. Second, I want to remind you again that we have the Employee Assistance Program, which offers free, confidential services. They can also help with venting and processing and can refer you to additional services. If you need help accessing our EAP, contact Jennifer Gertz. In the past, I saw a counselor and told them I didn’t have many friends; I kind of thought of them as someone I paid to listen because I didn’t have a friend to confide in. If that’s the case for you, using the EAP as a listening ear is totally fine, and you should do it.
I hope you settle in. I think I’m about 85% there. If you’re not fully settled yet, that’s okay. We are here for you. Itinerancy is something we are called to, but it comes with its own challenges. However, you should always know you’re not alone.